


i love you for all that you are

by saintjoy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Child Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Homophobia, M/M, Slurs, Suga doesn't have nice parents, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 02:16:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4245696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintjoy/pseuds/saintjoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"For all the crap I go through, I still find you more than worth it."</p>
            </blockquote>





	i love you for all that you are

_"Koushi – please stay."_

 

The request wasn't as simple as Sugawara wanted it to be. It was already past 9 o'clock in the morning, and he'd spent way too much time at Daichi's house as it was. His phone was going off: _ba-ding! bzz bzz ba-ding! bzz bzz ba-ding! bzz bzz_ and the sound could've been ambulance sirens wailing, from how his heart dropped with every repetition. He didn't want to get up. He wanted to stay.

 

Daichi's hand caught his shoulder before he could climb out of bed. "Don't look," he mumbled.

"Daichi..."

"This is so selfish of me, and I know that." Daichi took Sugawara's hand in his and kissed the knuckles. "But I don't want this to end yet."

Sugawara's stomach seethed. He bit his bottom lip as the lump in his throat swelled to full size. _I don't want to leave I don't want to go back I need you I need this god I'm so in love with you._ He forced himself to look away, because if he'd stared for a moment longer, the expression on Daichi's face would have drawn him back without a second thought.

"I have to go."

 

His toes were already cold, and the floor didn't do much to solve that problem. His briefs and pants sat crumpled in the nearest corner; he put those on first before checking his phone. Daichi winced.

 **父さん**  
おい、コウシ  
いつ家に帰るか？  
答えてくれ  
答えてくれぞ、お釜  
忙しすぎ？フェラ？  
ネコやる？  
キモい 笑笑笑

Sugawara covered his eyes with one hand because _god_ if he started crying, Daichi would wrap his arms around his waist and kiss the back of his neck and that would be that. He'd never go back again and he'd be more than happy with himself like that.

 **僕**  
ざけんなよ  
今帰る

 **父さん**  
おまえ、ダマレ！  
コノヤロー  
早く、母さんは心配してるぞ  
売女ぞ、www

"Koushi."

"You already _know_ what he said, so why are you asking?" Sugawara snapped, clenching his phone. Tears dripped down his cheeks and splattered on the screen. Daichi sat up in bed and his gaze burnt two holes through the back of Sugawara's head. "I'm sorry. He's just an asshole. Same crap about me being a faggot and spending all my time sucking dick and taking it up the ass."

"He sure does spend a lot of time thinking about your sex life, for a guy who claims to be straight." Sugawara didn't have a giggle to stifle. "Sorry. Trying to lighten the mood a bit."

"I know."

 

Sugawara scrubbed the tears from his eyes before walking back to the bed and sitting on the edge, still clutching onto his phone. Daichi shuffled forward and looked over his shoulder. He grimaced. "Christ."

"I just." Sugawara licked his lips. "I hate how he drags my mom into this. Like she's the one who made me gay." Daichi's hand was firm on the nape of his neck, rubbing it back and forth. He was so warm and Sugawara longed for his arms wrapped around his waist again. "I'm so tired. I'm so tired of this."

"I know." Daichi kissed his neck. "I'm sorry."

"I need to go home." Sugawara turned his phone on silent and tossed it into the pile of laundry on the floor. "I really should go home." 

 

He climbed back under the covers and pressed his forehead into Daichi's collarbone. The smell of his sweat and the residual hints of his cologne brought him back to his fictional universe of tender romance; unhinged memories; and quiet, yet passionate evenings.

 

•••

 

_"Can I come in, please?"_

 

It was another cold night. Sugawara had shown up at the door drenched from head to toe, and the moisture in his hair had already started to turn to frost. Daichi's mother had ushered him in without asking questions; he always liked that about her. Daichi wasn't home from work yet. She invited him to take a bath, because the water was still hot and he was shivering so much, and she'd make him a bowl of udon while he warmed up, and _thank you Mrs. Sawamura, but I won't be staying long I'd appreciate the bath though yes a bath would be nice._ He didn't like to let her ramble; he never knew what to make of her... _motherliness._

 

The steam made his face flush red. Sugawara held his knees to his chest to try to make the most out of his own body heat until his lips didn't taste like ice anymore. He opened his eyes and watched the water drip from the showerhead. He and Daichi had sex in the bathroom once. It wasn't pleasant because _someone_ had left the soap on the floor and rather than pick it up with his hands like a sensible person, Daichi slid it around with his foot before falling to his mood-killing demise. While it lasted, though, Sugawara enjoyed the intimacy. A slight wind blew in through the vented window. 

 

Sugawara heard Daichi come home: his gait was familiar, and the low ring of his voice made Sugawara smile. His mother whispered to him in the kitchen. His footsteps approached the bathroom tap tap tap tap tap tap "Oh, sh–oot! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude–"

"Sure, you didn't," Sugawara teased. "How can you storm into the bathroom without the expectation that you'll find your lover, in fact, naked in the bath?"  
He was in love with the way Daichi's ears turned red when he was embarrassed.

"I–I... well." Daichi scratched the back of his neck and took a half-step into the bathroom. "You have a point there." He leaned over to the shower head and turned it off so it no longer dripped. "Koushi..."

"Can we wait?" Sugawara interrupted. "Until I'm not in the bath? Go eat, I'll be out soon." 

Daichi's forehead wrinkled. Sugawara exhaled through his nose, his smile widening. He stood in the bath and water dripped all over the floor. Daichi didn't have time to react before Sugawara grabbed onto his tie and tugged him into a kiss. His lips were chapped and tasted like winter. The fuzz on his face from forgetting to shave for a couple of days tickled Sugawara's cheeks. Water soaked through Daichi's dress shirt when Sugawara wrapped his arms around his neck. He shivered at the touch of Daichi's cold hands on his naked hips. "Goodness, don't you wear gloves when it's cold?"

"I lost them on the train, haven't gotten new ones yet," Daichi mumbled, keeping his gaze fixed on anything above Sugawara's chest.

Sugawara kissed down Daichi's neck and held onto him as he stepped out of the bath. "I'll buy you a pair if you grab my towel for me."

"I'd grab it for you, anyway."

 

It was a weird thing to think about, but Sugawara liked the smell of the towels at Daichi's house. The laundry detergent smelled like lavender, but the Sawamuras put all their linens in a pine cabinet so being wrapped up in one was akin to sitting in a forest. Daichi rubbed Sugawara's skin dry and tied the towel under his armpits. He turned to go fetch a change of clothes, but Sugawara caught him by the sleeve of his shirt and pressed his forehead into his collarbone. 

"What is it, Koushi?"

"I wanna go to sleep."

Daichi lifted his chin and kissed him. "You still need clothes."

"No, I don't." He chuckled as his hand wandered down Daichi's chest and palmed his crotch. "You'll suffice."

"W-Wait, now? Mom is still awake...!"

"No, not _now,_ dummy. When she goes to bed." Sugawara paused before looking up at Daichi, worry bleeding into his eyes. "I mean. If you don't mind me staying over."

Daichi shook his head. "Of course I don't. But... we'll talk about what happened?"

"Nothing happened," came the knee-jerk reaction. Daichi shattered his illusion with a hardened stare. "Okay, yes. We'll talk about it."

"And you'll eat." He threaded his fingers through Sugawara's hair. "You need to."

"... Okay."

 

•••

 

_"For all the crap I have to go through, I still find you more than worth it."_

 

Daichi wiped a tear from Sugawara's cheek. "I love you."

"I love _you._ "

"I _love_ you."

" _I_ love you."

 

•••

 

_"He's eighteen, and he's moving in with me."_

 

Daichi always had the words when Sugawara couldn't bring himself to speak. This didn't, however, make him a good negotiator. Then again, who _could_ be a good negotiator with a bigoted drunkard?

"What, near your little fag university?" Sugawara covered his face so he didn't have to face his father. "That why you applied there, you shit? So you could be with your hairy faggot boyfriend?"

"He wanted to go there first," Daichi corrected, "and I applied there to be with him."

"Un-fucking-believable." His father waved his can of beer around like a weapon and Sugawara cringed. "Fucking great. I'm paying through the nose so my son can take it up the ass for four years? No, _fuck_ you!" Kicking, smashing, strangled yells and a gasp from Sugawara's mother.

"Honey, please–"

"Fuck you! I'm not paying for this _fairy_ to sleep around at some shit university!"

Sugawara shuddered and Daichi's temper flared. "If you actually _cared_ , you'd know that Koushi got a full scholarship!"

 

The room fell silent for a long time.

 

"I'm going with him," Sugawara whispered, "and you can't stop me."

 

•••

 

_"I've never felt this healthy before."_

 

Sugawara dropped his bags as soon as he walked through the door of his – _their_ – new apartment. His forehead shined from sweat and he rubbed it off with the sleeve of his shirt. "I feel free. We _made_ it."

"Uh-uh," came Daichi's voice from behind him, followed by a grunt as he let down his suitcases with a heavy thud. " _You_ made it. I didn't have to go through the crapper to get here."

"You're right. You didn't do _anything._ You just sat around looking pretty and I pulled _myself_ out of the crapper."

"Everyone needs a plumber every now and then to keep the water flowing."

"Mmhmm." Sugawara turned toward Daichi and caught him in an intimate embrace. "You _really_ get my water flowing, Plumber Boy."

Daichi laughed. "If you're trying to get me into bed, terrible lines like that aren't getting you anywhere."

"C'mon, we have a new bed. Might as well break it in."

 

They both tripped over the bags scattered across the floor on their way to the bedroom. The mattress was bare and the fabric irritated Sugawara's skin, but as Daichi pulled off his shirt and unbuttoned his own, he was certain it wouldn't be much of an issue. He arched his back into Daichi's roaming mouth and wiggled his hips: _take off my pants suck me off god I want you so bad fuck me hard baby._ Daichi was always so eager to please.

 

Little did Sugawara care if the walls were thin or not – they weren't making love at 1 AM anymore, after Daichi's mother had finally gone to bed and hoping the bed's quiet creaking wouldn't wake her. He groaned and thrusted into Daichi's mouth, fingers curling into his shaggy hair. His legs crossed over Daichi's back and his toenails weren't trimmed, but Daichi liked it when Sugawara scratched down his back. It was okay. _They_ were okay. _More_ than okay. Sugawara was getting his dick sucked, how bad could he be doing?

 

Daichi conjured lubricant from nowhere and Sugawara didn't bother to ask about it. The thought of Daichi carrying lube in his pocket all day in anticipation of sex upon their arrival only served to turn on Sugawara more. _Fuck_ was the only word on his mind when Daichi pressed two thick fingers against his hole and slid his tongue into his gasping mouth. 

 

The mattress complained under the force of Daichi's thrusts. Sugawara could find no grip on the mattress onto which to hold and instead held the backs of his thighs. Daichi's low moans filled his ears and the color of his flushed skin took over his vision and all he could say in response to it all was _I love you so so much_ with only a moment to spare before his muscles spasmed. He clenched his eyes shut. He burned this moment into his memory.

 

_"I love you for all that you are."_

 

•••

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the SASO 2015, br 3.
> 
> Prompt by [hurristat](http://hurristat.dreamwidth.org):
> 
>  
> 
> [Alanis Morissette – Head Over Feet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iuO49jbovg)  
> [Fleetwood Mac – You Make Loving Fun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssXFJ1ZKsQg)  
> [R.E.M. – Nightswimming](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-YHU6BwPR0)


End file.
